The world isn't the way it is because of you. . .

The world isn't the way it is because of you. . . my world isn't the way it is because of you.

My mornings are though. I slump out of slumber as if I haven't slept in years. My eyes sometimes sore from yesterday's sorrows. My mouth dry, from the intake of air through all my heavy sobbing. My stomach aching from the butterflies that still can't seem to calm down. My heart racing from a dream I just had, I almost always think they're real.

My days are too. Baggage under my eyes from all the heavy packing of memories I can't help but unfold time and time again. Blank stares to strangers and those I love because pretending to be happy just won't do anymore. Indulging on foods because it doesn't help to just eat my feelings, but everyone else's too.

And the nights, the oh so enticing nights, that are the way they are because of you. Yeah, I'm groggy in my A.M. because my nights are so whole. As in, yes its 3:22, hopefully I'll get to sleep soon. The desire to hold you tantalizes my uninhabited arms. My fingers can no longer find yours in the midst of the dark, cool air. This is when "one more day on the verge of tears" turns into another night full of them. This is when my once racing heart aches the most, thudding for the sake of survival, but not out of joy or love or anything in between. Even when I try real hard, close my eyes real tight, and pretend I'm someone else for a moment. . . even when I do that, I can't help but cry. I can't help but miss you entirely.

But like I said, my world isn't the way it is because of you. No, the world isn't the way it is because of you.