Shitty Friend

When she asked I wanted to say, "you." But I knew I never would so a sigh and mumbling, "I don't know, nothing," seemed to be easier. I wish I could of spilled it then and there. . .

You. I've wanted you for months now. From the moment I saw you,
in your plaid shorts and your long brown hair. I knew I wanted you, all for
myself. You tricked me and gave me false hope and then decided we'd be
best as friends. So now I have to be your shitty friend and forever questioning
what really was the problem. I can never fully treat you as a friend no matter
how hard I try though. I can't forget, no matter how fully I forgive because
I still have a different feeling towards you. So if you were worried about
ruining a relationship, friendship, that never would have happened if I
didn't want you so much, don't. It's damaged already and neither of us
can take it back.

I never would've said it. Those are the truthful words I would never spill from my mouth to her. But I could never lie to myself, not hide the truth, the way I do to her. My canvas of painted words never looked so beautiful. . .the truth. Though it may hurt, it shall set you free. Shitty friend.